Monday, 11 July 2011

Turning nothing into something

I'm no expert when it comes to love however it seems that most of my friends think so. They usually come to me when they have problems with relationships or they're hurt and I try to give them ideas or help them analyze the situation. Personally, I'm against giving advices because I believe that the person asking for it should decide for himself/herself as that shows what kind of personality they have and whatever it may be, they should stick to it and own their decision. However, during the time when the wounds from my heartache were still fresh, my friends and other people would talk about their experiences, their feelings and they're own insights and I would just listen and absorb them. I have done that up to a time when I am confident to have my own opinions and beliefs and I started to filter what they have shared with me.

Stop trying to convince someone you’re right for them if they have clearly stated they just want to be friends.
“But.. but.. they’re making a huge mistake!”
You know, maybe they are. Maybe a few months from now, weeks, days, or maybe even years they’ll realize that they made a huge mistake by letting you go. BUT RIGHT NOW YOU’RE ONLY HURTING YOURSELF WHILE THEY ARE LIVING THEIR LIFE HAPPILY WITHOUT YOU. Did you know that you can be happy too? You can be happy knowing that you can pick yourself up and move forward towards something greater. ‘Cause honey, if this person doesn’t want to keep you knowing the amazing love you have to offer them, you know you don’t have to waste anymore of your precious time. I can’t tell you when the right person will come along, but in the mean time do something for yourself. Find solitude, peace, & clarity with who you are.
NEWSFLASH by no means are you perfect. You are a flawed human being. You are a work in progress. Life is all about growing, but the effort has to be there. You have to want to better yourself. Re-evaulate what your priorities are and see what needs shifting. Yes, the right person should accept you for who you are, but if you think that there is nothing wrong with who you are, maybe you really do need some time to think. Whether it’s greed, jealousy, or lust you struggle with, you can work to be better. Put down your pride to recognize your sins. This really should be for you. Work on being “The One,” not looking for “The One.”
 When the right person comes along they will love you at your best and your worst. You will also love them for their best and their worst. But the effort has to be there from both parties to work on being the best person they can beThe effort is an on-going process because you gotta work to keep love alive. People tend to get comfortable and forget what it takes to keep a relationship solid. Eventually someone will get fed up, hurt, or even feel given up on. You don’t want to do that to someone you love & you wouldn’t want someone you love to treat you that way either.
One question I always ask couples that are in functional healthy relationships is, “How do you know they’re the right one?”
Their answer? “You just know.”
Honestly when they tell me that, I’m all thinking it’s a cop out answer. But there has to be some truth to it. With all complications aside, the person will just know if you’re right for them and they won’t give up on you. That means they won’t give up on bettering themselves either because they know you’re right for them. If you know they’re right for you, you’ll do the same.
So please, just stop.
Stop the lingering.
Stop the over analyzing.
Stop beating yourself up about “losing” someone. ‘Cause technically they’ve “lost” you too.

No, things will never be the same.
But trust me when I say it’s for the best. If everything has crumbled, you can only really build up from there.
Start anew.
I’m right there with you. I’m on my way to do the same. I do always love my heart one. Hope he know my feelings.